Our love story...

A fellow blogger (friend? friend through the internet? modern day definition of friendship? person I share mothering stories with? person I've never spoken to since, or even in, high school but stalk? ok, probably more like the last one) posted her love story for Valentine's Day.  Hers was very, extremely, ridiculously romantic (I'm talking Nicholas Sparks could write a book about this...spending the year in Paris, traveling around Europe, falling in love) and I'm pretty sure mine is not nearly as romantic.  But that doesn't mean it isn't unique!

Yes, Ed and I do have a love story.  If I didn't believe in God I would imagine my story could be described as "chance" or "luck".  But I do believe in Him and I believe He readied both of our hearts for each other, and when we had learned what we needed to learn and saw what we needed to see, He put us in the same room.

Some people believe in love at first sight.  I believe in attraction at first sight, but not necessarily love.  Well, in our story, there was neither.  But let's start before this...

(This story is told from my perspective because it is me and it would be painful to force Ed to write this...it would be about 3 sentences, if that)

As softball in college was coming to a close for me I met a man on my birthday.  I always thought of him as my present from life. I thought he was smart, cute, funny and would someday provide well for me.  I was eager to get engaged and even more eager to plan the wedding.  He was graduating a month after we met and was also ready to begin the next phase of life. This man was not Ed.

Through my first engagement I learned all about the wrong reasons for rushing into marriage.  I see why a lot of marriages end in divorce.  You fall in love with falling in love.  I watched all the romantic comedies, grew up on soap operas and wanted to show off a ring since friends were already walking down the aisle and having children!

I was forcing life.  Once this man had to move away for work, with plans of me joining him after I graduated, I realized he wasn't all that special.  I would go visit and instead of spending quality time together, it was spent going to parties and meeting "important" people.  Life for him had turned into one big party..and for the first time I realized he was smart but arrogant, cute but not charming, funny but rude and all he would be able to provide for me was money, not love, or affection, or trust.

After making the decision to end the engagement (and learning he started dating someone else 1 month later) I decided to take a year off from dating.  Really anything to do with dating actually.  For that next year (2008) I pledged to not think about "boys" and I even forbid myself from watching romantic comedies. I spent the summer in Chicago with one of my dearest friends and we even traveled Europe together.  I took time to take care of myself and reflect on what was truly important to me.  I no longer cared if I got married or even met someone, I was content with my life.

Last Europe picture taken with said friend, "peace out Europe"

Since I decided rather late in the process to stay in Ann Arbor for another year, I was quickly searching for a room in May 2008. A friend of a friend (Ryan Fisher, props to you for changing my life) had a room available for a low price.  Since I was volunteering still, this was crucial.  I went to see it, met Dan and someone they called Claudius (who would someday become a big part of my life), stepped over piles of dirty clothes, beer cans, filthy steps (they hadn't vacuumed in a year) and agreed to the room.  Why?  Remember, it was cheap.

I wasn't coming back to Ann Arbor until August but on my way to Chicago I found out the third roommate, Ed, wanted to approve the person taking the room.  I told Dan that was impossible since I had already left town and he would just have to suck it up.  Ryan vouched for me and apparently Ed agreed.

Day 1:
I walk into the house and not only are there bunked couches, but both of them currently had someone living on them.  Apparently, our house was the place everyone went to crash when they were between leases.  There was also someone staying in my room as well as 3 extra mattresses.  I had no idea what I was getting into. I sat on the chair (I deemed it the least gross place to sit) and waited for the guy to move out of my room. In walks this man, covered in filthy camouflage, splotches of paint everywhere, long/curly/wild/is there something living in there?/unkempt red beard and the same description for his hair (except on top since he was balding).  His glasses looked the same as the ones you had in 8th grade and they were so yellow I figured they were the same ones he had in 8th grade.

"You must be Ed"

"That's right."

(walks up stairs)

I turned to my friend braving the nasty couch and distinctly remember saying, "I'm pretty sure I am going to tiptoe around him all year and we will never get to know each other".

Crazy beard, 8th grade glasses - New Years Eve 2008

After a few conversations and a strange bonding over his love for and my confusion over Texas Chainsaw Massacre 4 (with Matthew Mcconaughey's remote controlled leg and a nerdy Renee Zellwegger) I noticed we started connecting.  I am positive I fought it at first...remember my year off from boys and face it, this man looked homeless...but eventually I realized I actually liked this guy.  I told him "you intrigue me" and he picked right up on what I was saying.

Since he worked the night shift I started getting up earlier and earlier to "go to work", aka hang out with Ed and I noticed he started staying up later and later.  Every morning I would come down stairs, hair wild, still in my pajamas and start making my breakfast. I didn't realize this was the time of day Ed loved the most. To this day he still prefers me with "the mane" as we call it. Eventually Ed started making breakfast for me, I took this as a good sign.

September 22, 2008

I had to look up the date, but I will always know it was the day the final game was played in Yankee stadium. Ed was on the recliner and I laid down on the couch (I got over it's filth). I reached over and put my hand on his arm.

"What is this?"

"I don't know."

Simple as that.  We were now a couple.  Our first "date" wasn't until a while later when we made the trip over to Dexter to the cider mill and snacked on donuts, caramel apples and cider while walking through a local park.  This is the same park Ed took me to propose, once again producing cider and apples...and even ice cream...from his backpack.  I didn't realize there was also a diamond floating around that bag!  Our first post hospital family picture was taken at this park although it would be hard to see EV since she is so covered, but I promise she is there.

There is a baby there, I promise.

Come to find out later, Claudius and Ed had a conversation a week or two before this in which Claudius joked about making sure Ed invited him to our wedding.  Claudius knew Ed and I were meant to be together, he could see it.  That must have been hard for him since they had lived together for 6 years up to that point and he imagined losing his best friend. Well, through marriage and a baby, Claudius remained our roommate. Unfortunately, moving to Bloomington was the tipping point, and if he didn't have a very stable job in Ann Arbor and could easily find work here, we would have him in a heartbeat.

Uncle Claudius

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I experienced the first failed engagement in order to learn what love, trust, friendship, companionship, etc. meant.

Ed is an incredible man.  He supports me in all I do, he cares for EV just like a great father should, he is a voice of reason and a source of silliness.  I know he will never read this post but I love you Ed, and I love the idea of spending the rest of my life with you.

It must be love.  Make me into a rubik's cube for Halloween.

Married!

Pregnant.

Great Dad.

Silly Daddy.