After visiting my parents in St. Joseph and then again at their house boat in Kentucky, we decided to enroll EV into a "swim" class. It isn't really a swim class, I have to forget I'm paying for people to sing songs and basically not teach EV to swim. I'm getting ahead of myself though...
EV loves, loves, loves...I would write it a hundred more times if I didn't think that would be insane...swimming at the boat and in Lake Michigan. We put her full body life jacket on her (I just searched for a picture and cannot find one online) and let her go on her own. We are there monitoring of course but really, she jumps in the water and swims on her own. She kicks her legs, uses her arms, wants to be thrown, loves the water slides and everything that goes along with being in the water. Naturally, seeing her enjoyment, I figured a swim class would be a great idea...oh, so wrong Becky, so wrong...
She started this week and the age range for the class is pretty wide. We're talking 6 months to 4 years old so I wasn't expecting much, a lot of dancing around with parents I figured. Today I was able to join Ed and EV and I'm not sure how I feel about the class. Correction, not how I feel about the class. The class is fine and they teach them to do "ice cream scoops" to use their arms, kick their leggies, float on their back and their stomachs and blow bubbles. We sing songs during almost all of it and you don't have to do anything they suggest but a lot of the kids do. The ages do range from around a year to 4 years old and I am surprised at how well these kids follow directions. No kid was crying or even not cooperating. Oh, did I say NO kid was crying or not cooperating...let me clarify...no OTHER kid was crying and not cooperating...so I'm not really sure how I feel about how EV acts in the class...
Ed had let me know she doesn't follow the directions in class and he has to struggle a little bit to get her involved. I should have known that my husband who doesn't make a big deal out of anything wouldn't make a big deal out of her actions. I saw them today. Ed doesn't have to struggle a bit to get her to be involved, there is just zero involvement. She will not do anything suggested, doesn't like ice cream scoops, will not go on her back and basically just wants to hold onto Ed the entire time...all while crying. Part of me was concerned I paid money for her to be in the pool for 30 minutes just for her to cry but that doesn't bother me as much as the fact that structure makes her throw a fit. I'm worried we have made her this way.
Note: after reading this I realized I made this one class mean she doesn't like anything structured.
I look around my house and how we are raising EV and we give her a lot of freedom. There are certain structured activities and she is great with those. When we tell her to go to her chair for food, she does it no problem. When we start the tub for bedtime she has no problem getting in the tub (ok maybe a little complaining now and then), but then it's book time, brush teeth, mom sings the same songs every night, kiss, hug, kiss and good night. She then falls right asleep. Structured and no problem.
But, our house during the day really has no structure. We don't have a place for anything. Blankets are on the floor, books are in the kitchen, towels are draped over furniture, DVD cases on seemingly every shelf, shoes living in every room from the bathroom to her bedroom. We don't pick up around the house and so we have never asked EV to do that either. EV can sleep in as long as she wants, she can do anything all day she wants (which is mainly just playing with Ed). There isn't anything close to a schedule such as wake up at 8, go to the park at 10, nap time, play time, clean up time, bed. She doesn't have to follow directions for anything because we never give her any. I guess we figured it was a way to increase her freedom but she is there, she is independent and has freedom. Now, we need a little structure. At least I think we do?
I'm probably blowing her swim class reaction out of proportion. I left feeling really embarrassed, disappointed, and conflicted. Ed saw it and made me give EV a kiss before I went to work. I needed to do that not because I stopped loving her, but I was looking at her in a different light. A sad light. A disappointed light. I've never looked at her that way. I'm conflicted just thinking about being conflicted!
Anyways, I'm not sure how I'm going to rectify her following directions. I just needed an outlet to explore what I was feeling after the class.
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