I'm reading this great book, The Happiness Project. I recommend it to everyone who is plagued by the constant desire for self improvement. That's me. There are great sections of practical advice coupled with author Gretchen Rubin's research. I already plan on reading it again and taking notes.
Right now I'm on the parenting section. One of the suggestions is having family traditions. I started thinking, what are our traditions?
A) We sit together at the table for dinner. This does take time and I thought I would miss being able to eat something quickly in front of the tv. I never did find myself saying, "Man, I really want to mindlessly eat while zoned into the tv and ignoring my family." The table may not be cleared from last night's dinner and I can't always guarantee we're all wearing pants, but I find it reassuring to know I will have scheduled family time each night. Eating at the table has led to another tradition:
B) We say Grace while holding hands. It's the same Grace we recited when I was young before we stopped regularly eating together. "God is great, God is good, let us thank Him for this food." Typically Ev will rattle off a shortened version consisting of the words God, good, thank, and food with Swedish mixed in. Lately we suggest Grace and she gives a drawn out, "No." Ed and I learned if we hold hands without her she quickly wants to join back in and Grace is said as a family.
C) "Kiss the Baby" While living in Ann Arbor, we all went on trips to the library during the summer. They had an amazing time for kids where they could run, play, dance, and sing. At one point the parents were instructed to hold their child and perform a little routine. The only part we can remember is the very end when you sing, "Kiss the Baby." The tune caught on and now we both give her a hug, sandwiching her between us, sing the song and then follow the directions: we give her a kiss. Now we replace the word Baby with Toddler and it's a little harder to hold her, especially when we include James in the hug, but I like that it forces us to touch each other and show affection.
D) Tell me something cute. Every night before we go to bed I ask Ed to tell me something cute Ev did that day. If ed has to work I ask earlier in the day. The same goes for if I'm traveling. I ask only for one thing but it winds up being a reminiscing of every cute moment of the day. James gets his time too now that he's showing more personality. I feel overwhelmed at times with parenting and I'm not even the primary caregiver so I can't imagine Ed's emotions. This gives us an opportunity to fall asleep remembering that through the craziness of parenting there are extremely sweet and tender moments. I frequently write these moments on the blog for the day when I won't remember how much she loved her princess dress with shiny shoes or when she heard someone say Black Panther and she searched through her books until she found the Black Panther page in Panda Bear, Panda Bear, What do you see? Ed and I will even tease each other through the day by saying, "oh man, I have the cute moment for the day, but you're going to have to wait." Most times I beg to hear it and then make ed repeat it again at night.
E) Where do you want your kiss? When ed works nights I am most likely in bed before he gets home. He'll ask me on a break where I would like my kiss. Some nights I give him a specific location, like my left elbow or right shoulder. I make it hard so I know I'll wake up and get to see him. Other nights, when I'm really tired I simply tell him to find someplace that won't wake me. I just realized need to be better about kissing him good night. It isn't something he would request daily but he once wrote on a pillow case in permanent marker to "Always Kiss Me Good Night." I never use the case because once I did and wound up with green and pink marks all over. I should frame the case and put it above the bed for Valentine's Day. Yes, that's it! I've been thinking about a gift.
F) Our bedtime routines. I've written about these before but now I can add, "I need floss" which she does with the skill you would expect from 2 year old. At least she throws it away.
I'm sure there are more routines I don't realize we do regularly and hopefully when I remember I will add them to the list.
What are some of your family traditions?
